These were sent to me recently. Had to share.

A man enters a bar and orders a drink. The bar has a robot bartender.

The robot serves him a perfectly prepared cocktail, and then asks him, “What’s your IQ?”

The man replies “150”, and the robot proceeds to make conversation about global warming factors, quantum physics and spirituality, environmental interconnectedness, string theory, nano-technology, and sexual proclivities.

The customer is very impressed and thinks, “This is really cool.”

He decides to test the robot. He walks out of the bar, turns around, and comes back in for another drink. Again, the robot serves him the perfectly prepared drink and asks him, “What’s your IQ?”

The man responds, “About a 100.”

Immediately the robot starts talking, but this time, about football, NASCAR, baseball, super models, favorite fast foods, guns, and women’s breasts.

Really impressed, the man leaves the bar and decides to give the robot one more test. He heads out and returns, the robot serves him and asks, “What’s your IQ?”

The man replies, “Err, 50, I think.”

And the robot says… real slowly, “So… ya gonna vote for Bush again?”

and…

One day a fourth-grade teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up — fireman, mechanic, businessman, salesman, doctor, lawyer, and so forth.

But little Justin was being uncharacteristically quiet, so when the teacher prodded him about his father, he replied, “My father’s an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off his clothes in front of other men, and they put money in his underwear. Sometimes, if the offer is really good, he will go home with some guy and make love with him for money.”

The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some Lose Weight Exercises and then took little Justin aside to ask him, “Is that really true about your father?”

“No,” the boy said, “He works for the Republican National Committee and is helping to secure the nomination of Jeb Bush in 2008, but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids.”