I feel like I have been holding my breath for the past two weeks. Tonight I was finally able to exhale, and it feels really, really good. I had to have a biopsy on my left breast two weeks ago (almost). I had a small lump that looked pretty much like a cyst but had a funny shape to it, so they wanted to biopsy it to be sure. The whole biopsy experience was one big ouch, preceded by an MRI, and in the prep for the MRI I passed out for the first time in my life when a baby doctor had a little too much trouble looking for a vein for the IV (have I mentioned I have an almost pathological fear of needles?). The biopsy involved a lidocaine injection (enough with the needles already!), an incision and a probe, followed by a “gentle mammogram” (hah!). All in all, not one of my better days.

Then it was wait and see time. The doctor called after a few days to say she was sure it was all fine, but that the biopsy results were going to take a bit longer than originally expected. So I waited, and wondered, and tried not to worry. But of course I did, a lot. I thought about what I’d do if it came back as cancer, and that made me think about my life, and the people in it, and how lucky I’ve been. Okay, okay, I got a little maudlin, and more than a little scared. I admit it.

We drove back today from Sacramento, a whirlwind working trip we had to make right before we leave tomorrow for Hawaii and vacation. The much-anticipated letter was in the mail when we got home tonight. The biopsy results came back, and the lump was benign.

This is a good day.