*rant on*
We’ve been dog-sitting for an eternity. Okay, it’s only been four days, it just feels like forever. The dogs in question are two miniature poodles named Remy and Bijou. They’re as cute as their names. But their barking, omigod, their barking. It’s high-pitched and continuous. Occasionally they rest to gather their energy for another round of yappy barking. Oh, and they dig holes. Not so easy as our yard is mostly patio and cement. Yet it took them less than a minute to find the lone patch of dirt still left and dig it up, embed it in their tiny paws, and then track it into the house. And they barked while they tracked. A sort of semi-malevolent hive mentality seems to be at work a lot of the time as there are two of them. They play and tumble and you’re lulled into a false sense of their cuteness and then one or the other will fart some terribly technicolor fart that will drive us almost out of the room. And then they’ll bark some more. They have a pathological need to be with one of us at all times. Going to the bathroom? No problem, we’ll both come! Going to take a shower? Can we watch? Going to bed? Can we get in bed with you? Going to sit at your desk and work? Can we just sit right behind your chair and make it impossible for you to back up without rolling the chair over us? Great, thanks!
They both also think that anytime a phone rings or a doorbell rings on TV that it’s happening in real life. Oh, and if a dog barks or growls, or a cat meows on TV, that’s happening too. And they bark at that. Do you know how often stuff like that happens on TV? Well, let me tell you it happens A LOT. We’ve missed huge chunks of shows due to this, in fact.
They also appear to know when we are attempting to do business on the phone. The minute we try to have any sort of serious conversation on the phone, they start barking. And they keep barking.
Chuck and I usually go to track on Wednesdays and I have mixed emotions about it that date back to high school and a gut feeling that I have run in enough circles to last a lifetime. But tonight I stayed home to keep the little guys from barking us into a noise abatement ticket. And track is looking really good right about now. I was watching The Jan Austen Book Club tonight (which, I can happily say, has very little in the way of ringing doorbells, doors being knocking or cats meowing) when the kids got a bug up their respective tiny behinds and started chasing each other around the living room. Mia, our sainted dog who has the patience of Job with these little punks, was sleeping on a chair in the living room when Remy suddenly jumped onto the chair, landing right on top of her. Mia was quite surprised when this pint-sized twerp landed on her and it startled her awake and she let out a big bark. This surprised Remy so much that he flew straight up and off the chair, landing smack on top of Bijou. Okay, that was funny. Okay, a lot of what they do is funny. When they aren’t yapping they can be a lot like small and furry Keystone Cops.
They’re resting right now, looking cute as the dickens all curled up in deceptively sweet little balls. This could be because I am not watching TV or trying to talk on the phone. But the instant I stir from my chair they’ll be up and all over me. “Wanna play? Wanna wanna wanna wanna? Play now? Now now now now?? Please please please please?? Wanna wanna wanna wanna??”
The good news is that I now know, beyond the shadow of any possible doubt, that I never ever ever want to get a miniature poodle. Oh, and babysitting small children would be a breeze. Okay, that last bit is probably not true.
*rant off*
I have taken assorted pics of the kids. What’s really annoying about these images is that all they do is illustrate the cuteness. It turns out that you can’t photograph a piercing bark.