Sometimes there are no words, just an awful silence that you know is going to last forever. Our friend Bev Buss passed away over the weekend. We don’t know the circumstances exactly, but we know she is gone and we’ll never hear that wonderful gut-busting  laugh or see that mile-wide smile again. She was the person who first met Mia – Chuck came home from work to find her sitting on the porch holding a palm-sized puppy, a gift from a next door neighbor. So she was sort of like Mia’s first mommy.
She was almost as good at getting lost as me, a problem over which we often commiserated. When Chuck had neck surgery she came to see him at University Hospital and somehow ended up in the basement of County USC. When she finally found us and regaled us with the story of how she got there and got out, we were in absolute stitches.
She had a heart that was as big as the outdoors that she loved so much. She showed up when you needed someone to talk to, to laugh with, to cry with. When Chuck was getting chemotherapy and felt like shit, she showed up with a tiara that we made him wear while he was all doped up on Benadryl. And of course we took photos. At a time when nothing was funny, she again made us laugh.
She was an insanely good athlete, qualifying for, and running in, the Olympic marathon trials in Columbia, South Carolina in 2000. Once as a lark she went to root for a friend who was going to run a 50-mile race. The friend didn’t show, so Bev decided to run it for kicks – and won! She came down to do a sprint triathlon with us (one of my first) and won that too, which she only admitted she had done after she first congratulated the heck out of me just for finishing. She ran on the balls of her feet, almost like a dancer which seemed crazy, but it worked for her. She is #45 on the St. George Marathon list of legends – she ran it three times, with an average under 2 hours and 50 minutes (note for non-runners: that is CRAZY fast!).
She had demons that she couldn’t shake, and while she would spend so much time taking care of other people, making sure they were okay, she wouldn’t let us help HER. It broke our hearts to know that she was hurting but that we just couldn’t save her.
The world is a poorer place today. I am going to miss you, Bev. We both are. You were a great friend and a really, really good person. I wish you could have seen that about yourself more clearly. I wish you were still here.
Comments
13 responses to “Silence”
Hi Chuck and Eileen,
Beverly spoke of you both all the time and loved you so very much! I have contacted you on Facebook and am trying to get the word out, for the family, regarding an upcoming memorial for Bev. The details are not set because we are trying to figure out how many folks may attend. I told them, “A LOT!” as she was so loved by so many. Anyone who reads this blog, feel free to contact me if you might be a conduit to those whose circle she was a part of….there are so many wonderful parts of Bev’s life that did not cross into other parts and all were so special to her <3
My email is LISAKAWAI@ROCKETMAIL.COM My name is Lisa Kawai (as you might gather).
Much love to all and her passing is a loss to all of us. Most of us can safely say there will NEVER be another Beverly…
Hi Lisa! We’ll be in touch. Thanks for the info.
Beautifully said Eileen.
Beverly volunteered to stay with my two daughters when Don and I went to Atlanta for the Olympic games. My daughters became close to her calling her “Ate” (tagalog for older sister) Bev. She was a warm, caring, and beautiful person that my daughters and I will never forget.
Stunned, surprised and saddened. Jumped on Chuck’s blog to read about his travels and was so surprised to read this post about Bev. Here’s to Bev’s grace, beauty, loyal friendship and amazing running capability!
Beverly’s death is a loss to us all.
She and I had our own special relationship and knowing that she no longer walks among us is truly heartbreaking.
Those who knew her know the light and the laughter that has been extinguished with her passing.
For those who did not, know that a loving, vulnerable, and caring soul has left us.
Van
Thank you for writing this wonderful tribute to Beverly. It was beautiful, and helped capture the essence of our wonderful friend. We will miss her terribly.
I’m so sorry to hear this news and though I don’t know your friend, you have certainly brought her to life for me. Really beautiful.
What a beautiful eulogy for someone who seems to have been truly special.
What fg said.
Mahalo, Chuck, for sharing. I am very sorry to hear about Bev. She had a big heart, big smile and a big laugh.
Thank you Chuck and Eileen. I’m so sad that Bev is gone, she was truly a caring and loving person. She will be missed by all who knew her.
Thank you for sharing her! This is a beautiful eulogy!